Untitled Short Story

I dunno. Things seem a lot more peaceful now that the confiscations are all in the past. The recent past I grant you, but the past is what it is; best left behind. It all seems sorta distant now. What’s that feeling you get, when you’re having a dream? Disconnected? Is that it? Whatever it is, that’s what I’m talking about.

The whole thing seems ridiculous now that I come to say it out loud. The newspapers are forbidden from reporting on it now, and to tell you the truth, they all seem pretty relieved about that. Maybe not the reporters themselves; I’m sure there are a few good apples out there. But the big media barons? Heh; you can bet they’re about as happy as pigs in the proverbial right now. How do you run a story like that without making yourself look like a fool? Or scaring the shit out of your readership. Either way, who wants to pick from one choice or the other?

Anyway, that’s not what you give a shit about, right? You just want the good stuff. Fuckin’ MTV generation…yeah, I know I know; it was all better in the “good old daze” right? Well…fuck you. It was. It’s called a daze for a reason. It means a pleasant stupor. Did you know that? We were all pleasantly stupid about what was going on. Not like now; now we know something is going on but we’re fucked if we know what. That being true, I think I’ll stay with my happy memories of being stupid. That okay with you?

So there’s this closed session at the UN. For the first time in it’s history, every world leader is gonna be there. Every one. Didn’t matter if they were the Queen of Sheba or the Cunt from Canada. All world leaders were gonna be face to face. The idea was to “provide a face to face forum to end world war” or some such shit. I don’t really remember and, well, I can’t check my facts any more can I?

Anyway, the session lasted 17 days. The whole world seemed to hold it’s breath while the king shits of turd mountain sat and talked. Two of ‘em died. I always think it was a fuckin’ miracle it was only two; all those fat, rich, happy bags of piss and wind? Putting them all in one room for so long? Jesus, I’m surprised no-one suffocated on the bullshit.

2 fewer and 17 days older, the press got summoned to hear what all those brilliant world minds had agreed upon. I remember watching it on YouTube before the internet got shut down; some bleary eyed American President announced that “measures will be taken across all countries and by all peoples to guarantee peace in our time”. At which point, if we’d been a halfway sensible people, we’dve thrown those pricks back and that room and told ‘em to fuck off. Pretty much every conflict worldwide had died down in those 17 days. 17 days with no stupid old man trying to solve a grudge with young man’s blood had led to a distinct lack of direction for people whose hate petered out pretty quickly without orders to sustain it.

Then the books started being confiscated. The list was drawn up (not that we ever saw the fucking thing) and the authorities started cleaning them up. Funny; you always think that sort of thing is gonna be all stern faces and moustaches on pricks. Turns out it’s a bunch of mousy, polite men and women in overalls collecting books from shops and from houses to be removed “for the good of mankind”.

I’m not sure anyone really even misses them to be honest. Hadn’t read most of ‘em so who gives a shit, y’know? There was a lot of protests by people saying that their civil liberties were were being taken away from them. I dunno about that; if you want to read, there’s plenty of books still to choose from. But…well like I said at the start; it’s weird. We all heard that there was a big plan for world peace, and then the confiscations started so we all just assumed…well, it must be for our own good, right? Why else would all our leaders want to get rid of certain books?
Now…now there’s a strange atmosphere. I get the sense that everyone is waiting to see what happens next. No-one seems to know but I know there’s that tingle in the air; not the one you get before a storm, but the one before a senseless pub kicking or when that kid got caught stabbing cats. We’ll see I suppose.

So why’re you making this program then? Wouldn’t have thought talking about this stuff was exactly popular now.

Who did you say you were with again? BBC?




Can I see your press pass again please mate?