Apathy

I think this was the beginning of my obsession with the political apathy and malaise that hangs over the West like a soggy dog.



A new species joined the endangered list today. It has been holding off the threat of extinction for a few years, and conservationists have resorted to increasingly desperate measures to safeguard it's survival. Yet it would appear that this poor beast has grown tired of it's existence and so it's plight is almost universally ignored. I'm talking about a species who's distinctive call was once heard daily, whether we liked it or not, and which was once commonplace throughout the land. I'm talking of course about The Opposition to the Government.

I don't know if anybody has noticed this, but since the fun and games started in Afghanistan, we seem to have taken very definite steps towards being a one party state. Almost all of the political news (certainly all that one doesn't have to laboriously trawl through the bowels of the broadsheets to find) concerns itself with the Labour Party. We get bad news concerning our government (lack of spending on public services, rising street crime, the seeming inability of ministers to either do their jobs or make their departments do theirs), and we get good news about it (...erm.... I’ll get back to you on that one). But what there is not is the reaction of the opposition to any of this. If Iain Duncan Smith has had anything to say about this, I have not heard him. If that cheeky little ginger munchkin Charles Kennedy has taken the opportunity to compare government policy unfavourably with that of the LibDems, then it is a waste because nobody knows about it. Why is this; is our government taking sinister steps towards totalitarianism, or are our opposition parties the most useless thing since the Innovations catalogue?

I don't really think that there can be much doubt that the Government is acting in a pretty authoritarian and unilateral manner. They're still busy telling us what we want (President Blair unveiled his "Third Phase of the Third Way which, aside from sounding like a low budget martial arts film or something from an astrological chart, pretty much underwhelmed those who could be bothered to pay attention), whilst ignoring anyone who says what they actually need (a better NHS? I didn't exactly hear a chorus of complaints when Gordon Brown issued dark warnings that taxes would have to be raised to achieve this, yet he continues to say it in the same tone as a medieval priest would have warned of an infestation of demons and seems blind to the fact that in general we're happy to pay a little more if it means having a health service that doesn't fart and collapse when a few old ladies get flu). Their methods of maintaining discipline within their own party aren't exactly inspiring either. Take Ken Livingstone (please); he was wanted by the overwhelming majority of the party as their official candidate for London Mayor. However, thanks to a voting system that Robert Mugabe would have been proud of, Ken was not selected, ran as an independent, and won. The Government accepted this in the same calm and rational manner that can be observed when a baby throws it's rattle out of the pram. Out of the Labour party went Ken, along with any pretense of a party interested in a free and fair exchange of views between it's members.

Yet try as I might, I just can't picture the Labour Party as a totalitarian party. Not due to any lack of pretensions in that direction on their part (for example, the incessant whining by the government whenever the media have the temerity to run a story showing the government in an unfavourable light. According to President Tony the media are perpetuating a 'culture of cynicism'. Hmm...you don't think 30 years of politicians making an breaking promises with gay abandon might have anything to do with it then?) but because of their endearing ability to make an utter mess of whatever they put their hand to. The renationalisation of Railtrack should have been a good move; after all, the company themselves were not exactly covering themselves in glory during their efforts to run our creaking rail network. Instead, Stephen Byers and his fun packed department of backstabbers and mercenaries managed to make themselves look inept and clueless; there are still mutterings from shareholders who want their money back (shouldn't someone explain the concept of "risk" and "stockmarket" to them?), the media have howled for his blood, and his department got lighter by two morons who were led entirely by self interest and one-upmanship. Can you imagine Stalin allowing this sort of thing? He'd have purged the entire party by now. I'm left wondering if that would be a bad thing with our government...

So no; although the Labour party may wish for Totalitarianism for it's next birthday, it's far too clumsy and British for that sort of thing. Which leaves us with the other reason why the opposition are roundly ignored; the opposition themselves.

I suppose one should start with the Conservatives, but then one has to decide where to begin. It's not as if the government hasn't been giving the Tories opportunities to take them to task. The aforementioned Mr. Byers was taken to task by the shadow Transport Secretary (who may or may not be Gillian Shepherd; so anonymous are the opposition that it is difficult to say with any certainty) about the appalling series of gaffes by his department. To cut a short story shorter, so inept was she in her 'roasting' of Byers that the Conservatives found themselves having to say that it was a deliberate ploy to keep Byers in office as he is so dreadful. Which is up there with Bart Simpson's "I didn't do it" in terms of believability. The media now do not report on Byers' troubles in terms of how the opposition has exploited it but in terms of how the government has shot themselves in the foot. Why isn't the opposition trying to take credit for a governmental mistake? Do they even care any more?

The election of IDS as leader of the conservatives would indicate that they do not. When was the last time anyone actually saw or heard anything about him? I haven't seen him on the news or in the papers. I haven't heard him on the radio. I haven't even heard references to him by other politicians (unless you count "Who?" as a reference). The man is anonymous. Little Billy Hague was deservedly a figure of fun, but at least he was noticed and his party talked about. IDS seems determined to avoid the same ridicule and is doing so by never doing anything of note, being anywhere newsworthy, or saying anything even remotely interesting. I'm beginning to wonder if he really exists, or whether Maggie grew him in a Nazi-CIA biological tank as an automaton composite of Hague and John Major. The Conservatives have a boring man at the head of a faceless party that preaches soulless values. No wonder the press ignores them. They're probably fighting the same urge that one gets upon seeing something slimy and unpleasant under a rock; to step on it.

And finally the LibDems. Oh dear oh dear oh dear, I had such high hopes for them. A party that was genuinely interested in doing the right thing for the country, who were honest about their intentions to raise taxes and who explained just what the taxes would be spent on. A party that sought to rise above partisan politics and tried to do the right thing. So what happened? Where are they? What on earth are they doing?

The answer is; not a whole lot, apart from perhaps competing with Tories to provide the most savagely worded denunciation of a Government policy (which no-one will ever read anyway). Oh, and filling up some of the seats in the House of Commons. As for Charles Kennedy, he seems to have limited himself to the occasional appearance on Have I Got News For You so that we can all see that he is a Man Who Is Not Afraid To Be Made Fun Of, or perhaps A Man Of The People. Unfortunately he tends to be categorised as A Man Whom I Have Never Heard Of, or Who Is That Man On The TV? He does seem a nice enough chap, but he's not exactly pushing the boat out in terms of increasing his profile.

I think that the problem is that neither opposition party has any real heavyweights; there is no-one there who will sink his or her teeth into the government and hold on until they cry uncle. All we have are a bunch of professional politicians who won't stick their necks out as they don't want to jeapordise any future career chances. Alas, they have no future career unless they do take a chance. The Governmental policy of "Today is much the same as yesterday" means that in general no-one cares enough about Labour's shortcomings to want to vote them out. Unless the opposition can persuade us that they do have something important to say and that the government has fouled up in an outrageous manner, then long may they continue to be ignored.